Week 7: Outcast (52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks – 2023 Version)

The theme for Week 7 is "Outcast." Sadly, it isn't uncommon to find someone who was set apart from their family or who was rejected by society. This week, you could give them back at least part of their story. You could also take a different angle and write about an object that was cast out, or maybe getting a cast off. Feel free to be creative! Click here to check out all the themes for 2023.

This brings to mind, the daughter my sister gave up for adoption. I was only 7 or 8 years old at the time, my sister had just turned 19. She got pregnant during her senior year in high school from her long-time boyfriend. They even were planning to marry, however the boyfriend’s mom was against the wedding. I guess she thought it would ruin her son’s future.

I didn’t understand the big deal of my unmarried sister being pregnant. I being the youngest, I had welcomed my first niece the year before, the child of my eldest brother and his wife. My sister had graduated early, after the first semester of her senior year and then she was sent to live in a girl’s home for unwed mothers in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Society appear to reject my pregnant sister. All I knew was that I missed seeing my sister every day. 

At first, my parent’s were thinking of adopting the baby, and then my aunt was too. However, in the end, my sister made the tough decision to give her up to a couple who could not have children. She was told that he was a doctor and she would be a stay-at-home mom. My sister really felt this was the best decision.

Her daughter was born on Aug, 30, 1971 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I know this day well, because in 1997, I gave birth to my youngest, a girl on this same day and my sister starting calling my daughter, her little baby. At the time, my sister was battling stage 4 breast cancer. I went and visit my sister in December of 1997. My sister was living in Arkansas with her husband and son. My husband, our four children and I drove to Arkansas on our way to Arizona to visit my parents and my two disable sisters who lived with them.

My sister was very weak and was unable to hold my daughter. I knew she thought of her daughter often, she told her son about his older sister. She wishes she was in a better place in her life to have kept her. She still thought it was the best decision for her daughter, to give a better life, a stable life, one she won’t be able to provide. 

My sister lost her battle with breast cancer on April 9, 1998 in Rogers, Benton County, Arkansas. Her wish to be reunited with her daughter never came true.

When I look at my DNA matches, I always hope that I will see that daughter. Hoping she will show up as an unknown close relative match. 

Even though my niece was set apart from her family, she is not an outcast. I have told my children of the cousin that was given up for adoption. My hope is that she will seek out her biological family. I hope she had a wonderful childhood in a loving home with loving parents.