The theme for Week 32 is "Free Space." Use this week to write about anything you want! Or, if you want to stick to the theme, consider someone who moved to where they had more space (land), a homesteader, or maybe someone who played a lot of bingo.
Since this is a “free” week, I decided to write about a very special person in my life. This past weekend, I had to official say my goodbye to my Sister-in-Law, Jane Burg McAbee.
Jane had so much love in her heart and always had a huge smile. She was the most helpful person you ever saw, always volunteering to help others in their home projects, yard work or whatever.
When Jane retired in 2019 at the age of 62, her and my brother sold their house in Manitowoc, Wisconsin and purchased a home on Crystal Lake near Plymouth, Wisconsin. I had a summer home at the time in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin and she surprised me and knocked on my door one day to tell me the great news. I quickly went to visit her and Mike at their new home, right on the golf course and fell in love with the home.
Jane and her siblings spent many hours removing years of leaves from the yard. Mike and Jane had many renovations plans for the house which included a minor remodel of their kitchen, redoing their living room and turning their screen porch into a three-season room. My husband and I helped with the update to their basement bathroom.
When my husband retired in 2020, we decided to purchase a home only 3 miles from them in Plymouth, Wisconsin. I was so happy being so close to Jane and spent a lot of time with her.
Since they live on the golf course, Jane quickly told me that I had to get a set of clubs and go golfing with her and Mike. My husband was already an avid golfer and I thought this was a great bonding opportunity for all four of us. During the summer we tried to have a standing Tuesday golf outing followed by a lunch date. About once a month we would have a dinner date and return to their house for game night.
I would invite Mike and Jane over for Thanksgiving since their two kids usually had other plans. It was last year on Thanksgiving that Jane complained about not feeling well. By December, she was complaining about pain in her legs, lost a lot of weight and the doctors were running all kinds of tests. In was on January 17 of this year that they diagnosed her with Stage-IV Bone Cancer. Bone cancer is a very painful cancer and she quickly became bedridden and they started Chemotherapy. Chemo took a horrible toll on Jane, she became weaker, was in a lot of pain, wasn’t eating properly, tired all the time. I saw my energetic sister-in-law turn into a sickly bedridden woman.
To add insult to injury, one of my intellectually disable sisters was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in April. My visits with Jane became more difficult as my time was consumed taking care of my sister, however we would see each other at the Cancer Treatment Center. She tried to be upbeat, tried to make people laugh, but I could see how much pain she was in. The last time I saw her at the clinic was in late June. My brother was pushing her in a wheelchair and when they helped her from the wheelchair into a regular chair, I saw how weak she really was. They could not do her treatment that day, instead they had to take her to the hospital for a blood transfusion.
Jane was home only for a few days after that blood transfusion when she had to be taken to the hospital because of a racing heartbeat. It was there that they told her that they could not continue the treatments. All our hopes for beautiful Jane came crashing down. She was in so much pain, she found it harder to eat and the decision to move her into hospice care was difficult. Jane took her last breath on July 8, 2024, a week shy of her 67th birthday.
I have lost people in my life before, my own sister, Maureen, my oldest brother Tim, both to cancer along with losing my parents, however losing Jane is difficult because I thought we would be growing old together, doing things together.
Jane often helped me with my canning, because she wanted to know how to can. I often shared my canning produce with her as a thank you for all the help she gave me. Last week, when I canned a few jars of pickles, it was difficult because I miss my helper.
The weather here in Wisconsin has been very rainy and thus I haven’t missed golfing because we wouldn’t have been able to golf, but I missed our Tuesday lunches. I miss her smile, her laugh, her generosity, her spirt. I miss playing Sequence with her. Jane and I would be partners against our husbands. We would laugh so hard, because our cards always seem to go together and we would beat the men more than they ever beat us.
Jane Angela Burg McAbee was born in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin on July 15, 1957 the daughter of John Frank and Angela Marie (Steffes) Burg. Jane was the 6th child of 12 children. She was proceeded in death by an infant brother, John Benjamin on July 19, 1951 and a sister, Joan Ann on June 29, 1999. Her father passed in 2005 and her mother in 2010. Jane married Michael McAbee on Dec 2, 1978 at St Joseph’s Catholic Church in “St. Joes” near St. Cloud, Fond du Lac County, Wisconsin. This was the same church her parents were married in. Jane and Mike have two children; a daughter, Melissa Jane who married Troy and they have two children, Caitlin Melissa and Ethan Troy and a son, Quentin Michael.
Jane was an avid golfer, enjoyed playing cards and games with family and friends (specially with her grandchildren. Family was very important to her. Jane’s love of family goes back to spending time with her siblings on a regular basis, her grandchildren and children were at the top of her list.
Remember to have fun and Just Do Genealogy!
